Question to ask before dating a girl

26-Jul-2016 10:08 by 9 Comments

Question to ask before dating a girl

Or are you blossoming and flourishing into who you really are?Do you feel fragmented when you’re with your partner or do you feel whole? Is your partner trying to force you to become like some figment of their unrealistic dating imagination?

Does your partner seek out ways to understand how you receive love and meet that need? If you or the person you’re dating loves out of their insecurities, their love will be needy and selfish. Are they willing to honestly talk about money at all or is the topic taboo?As I wrote in “If your core values can’t dance together, then you’ll keep tripping, falling and wondering why you can’t move together in rhythm.” For example, you could have a high value for responsibility and the person you’re dating could have a high value for risk.Both values are good, but if not articulated and discussed it could be a point of high conflict if the responsible person likes consistency and persistence, while the risk-taker likes changing things up and going for the impossible.Or are they challenging you to become a better, authentic you?Not trying to change you, but trying to bring the best to the top.If you can just get your hair, abs, complexion, and clothes just right, then The One will scamper to you like a squirrel to a nut factory. Sure appearance might catch someone’s eye, but it’s personality, values, faith, heart, past, present, and future that’s going to make them stay.

Your petals might be beautiful, but if you don’t have any nectar then the bees are just going to fly away. It can prop up an intimacy that has no foundation to sustain it.

However, for many of us our fallback communication plan will be the one our parents laid out for us.

Holidays, especially, are giving you a glimpse into how your partner has been taught and trained. Sit up, take notes, because believe me you’ll want to feel prepared for the test that comes later. Love can be the worst form of manipulation there is.

Too many marriages start (and end) with vague and un-identified core values. Or are you constantly trying to hide who you are because they want you to be someone you’re not?

Are you fitting and conforming to some abstract idea of what you think they want?

Take me for example, one of my core values is authenticity.

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